


Ailment of the Mind, Poison of the Body

by TwinCarcino



Category: Persona Series
Genre: Alternate Universe, Lots of PTSD and traumatized kids, Multi, Needles lots of needles, Original Persona Series, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Sickness, Social Links, Violence, dark themes and darker themes later on, therapy sessions
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-06
Updated: 2018-12-07
Packaged: 2019-07-27 05:16:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,804
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16212179
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TwinCarcino/pseuds/TwinCarcino
Summary: They moved to Shizukana, a terribly small rural town the kind where everyone knew everyone, to escape their past and the nightmares clinging to them. To find somewhere peaceful to finally start over their lives and try and preserve what little childhood innocence they had left after everything that had happened.Instead, they found themselves in a conflict of shadows, a sickness filling the air, and the bitter venom in their veins bursting free.





	1. Chapter 1

"Wow! Isn't it so green out here? You never seen this kind of vegetation or color out in the city."

Takahiro pointed out the bus window as he spoke, gesturing to the vivid green grass and looming trees that they drove by on their way to their new town, their new home. He smiled, looking from the window to the girl next to him, but his smile fell soon after and his shoulders slumped just a little.

Beside him, Shiori hadn't even reacted, not even a little, as though she hadn't heard him at all. She sat hunched over, staring—glaring—at the back of the seat in front of her. The hood of her hoodie, black with green accents and made for someone much older and bigger than her, was up and covering most of her face. But the frown she wore was present. She swung her feet idly in the air, her legs not quite long enough to reach the floor of the bus yet.

"There's some sheep out here," Takahiro tried, not wanting to give up just yet, and did his best to emphasize the excitement in his voice. "I've never seen a sheep in person before, they're so much fluffier than on TV. Don't you want to see, Shiori?"

Ah, he got a reaction.

She lifted her head just a little when he brought up the animal, and after what was a moments of hesitation, moved over in her seat to try and peer past her brother to see out the window. Her eyes widened and for a moment, Takahiro could see a shine, a light in them that he hadn't seen in so long. But the spark flickered out relatively quickly as she turned her attention away from the glass and settled back into her seat once more.

The bitterness, the emptiness in her heart, void of happiness, of joy or love, the anger she seemed to hold towards the world… it wasn't befitting a ten-year-old. It wasn't normal to see a child so young full of so much anger.

But, this was the norm. This was who Shiori was.

She took no interest in anything she did, she viewed everything and everyone with disdain, if she felt anything towards them at all. There was so much anger and bitterness festering inside of her, poisoning her blood, so much pain and misery. Takahiro did what he could, tried his best to try and help his sister, but it was hard. So hard. How could he help her when she hated him with every fiber of her body?

It hurt.

Takahiro loved Shiori, there was no question about that. She was his sister, she was his family—the only family he really had left that wasn't a distant relative—and he loved her so fully and unconditionally. And she hated him.

Maybe it was poetic justice. After what he had done, what he had taken from her, he deserved the hate. All he wanted was what was best for her, but he had gotten selfish, he had gotten angry, all the pain and suffering he had endured, he hadn't thought of what Shiori wanted, hadn't considered what made her happy and in doing so, he had taken away the happy life she had been living.

But he did the right thing, he had to remind himself that. Even if she had been happy, it hadn't been healthy, it hadn't been  _right._  She belonged with her family. She would have only gotten hurt if he hadn't intervened. He had to keep reminding himself of that. Everything he would do, it would be for her.

That's why they were going to their new town, because it would be good for her.

For both of them.

His smile turned wry and he looked at his own lap, fingers playing with the straps of his faded backpack as he held it against himself. "Are you excited, at least? We probably won't be moving again for a long time now," he hoped so at least. If things went right, this would be where they lived until they both finished school. "And, this might be fun! I know Shizukana isn't like Tokyo at all, but, it's a nice place from what I heard. It'll be good for us."

Shizukana was a small rural town, the kind of community where you pretty much knew everyone. There weren't any train stations going through it and the only way to get to the town if you didn't have a car was through the bus. Right now only he and Shiori were on the bus heading into the town, and he suspected there wouldn't be anyone boarding it when they reached their stop. Over all it was a good two or so hours just to get to Shizukana from Tokyo, and that was if you didn't have to wait for the train or bus to arrive.

It was supposed to be a peaceful town, the kind of place where bad things rarely happened, where everyone was looking out for one another and treated each other like friends.

Their therapists had recommended trying to find a stable, healthy place for them, how going from relative to relative—people the two barely knew if they knew them at all—wasn't healthy for either. Not when they were already struggling enough with so much pain, so many nightmares and agony and trauma. Staying with adults they barely knew, adults who were only taking them in because they were obligated to, the therapist that he and Shiori saw had been very blunt in how detrimental it was to their recovery.

So, their current legal guardian—their mothers second or third cousin or something, honestly, Takahiro wasn't even sure how he was related to any of these people anymore—had enrolled them both into Kagami out here in Shizukana.

From what Takahiro had gathered during the meager research he was able to do, Kagami was the only school in the rural town. It served as both a high school, middle school and elementary school. Because of how small the population was, the school was able to manage to do everything within a single three-story building. Some of the classes only had a handful of students, while the max was maybe two classes for one grade.

There was a dorm building too, thankfully. The school also had a dorm that had been a gift from the Hamamoto Group, which helped finance the school in different areas, for students who did not have a place of residence or had familial issues and needed their own place. He was glad for the dorm, it meant he and Shiori would at least be able to stay in the same building and not in the care of someone they didn't know.

But he had to admit, he was worried.

Takahiro was used to taking care of himself, he'd often have to fend for himself when he was living with him and his dad, and even when Shiori and their mother lived with them, he was often helping their mother just to take care of them all. He'd learned to cook basic things, pay rent and buy groceries—and alcohol for their father—by the time he was seven. When it became just his father and him, he had to learn how to clean injuries and bandage himself up.

He'd even been essentially living on the streets for roughly half a year at one point. Takahiro knew how to survive, how to endure.

But this was nothing like enduring the pain of living with their father, or the months alone trying to find and reunite with Shiori.

They were going to be on their own for the most part, and he didn't trust that their legal guardian was going to be bothered to send them money to keep themselves afloat outside of paying for the dorm rooms and books. He'd probably have to find a way to get a job or something after school so he and Shiori would have enough money to survive. He knew that he had some money in the bank already, but, 60,000 yen between the two of them wasn't going to last long.

Most of the money they had gotten, the little they inherited from their father who squandered most of it on beer and women, and the little that their mother had to give, had been used for their therapy sessions and medication, or got swallowed up by the greedy relatives that took them in.

'Compensation' for taking in two problematic kids, they had claimed.

It left a rotten taste in his mouth, reminded him of how awful, how filthy, how disgusting adults were. How he couldn't trust them. He couldn't trust any adult, they could be liars and thieves.

He didn't want to be like that, he didn't want to be the same kind of vulgar, disgusting adult that made their lives a living hell. He had to make sure he never became like them. Not just for his sake, but for Shiori's, and for their mothers. He couldn't become a demon, a rotten, vile demon.

Takahiro let out the breath that he hadn't realized he'd been holding, his hands were shaking, bulled into fists with nails digging into his skin, but shaking. He breathed in and let out another shaky breath as he tried to compose himself.

This was a fresh start for the both of them. He had her two hours away from Tokyo, two hours from the disasters that ruined them, from the source of their traumas. From the demons, from the monsters, from the poison that tried to destroy them, from the nightmares and pains and horrors. They were finally getting a new start, a new life where they can finally be happy, finally heal, recover, move forward with their lives. Be normal, healthy kids.

So why did he feel so uneasy?

"I'm going to have to study really hard," Takahiro said, forcing a laugh as he scratched at the back of his head, fingers tangling with his black strands. "I'm still behind after all, thanks to those three years I was out of school. But it's my last year in middle school, you know? I want to make sure I can finish it off with some high marks. Maybe I'll look into getting a tutor."

He had to make sure he did well in school, he needed to get good grades, needed to do well in studies. How else was he going to be able to support Shiori when he was out of school? He needed to do well so he could get a good job that could support the two of them. He wanted to make sure he could understand his own course work so he could help Shiori with hers. He wanted to be the reliable older brother, wanted to be someone she knew she could depend on.

Bur Shiori didn't answer. She rarely did whenever he talked to her if it wasn't necessary. Most of their conversations were one-sided or brief. She didn't like talking to him, Shiori didn't like hearing him talk, she wanted him to leave her alone, hated that he was around her, how he ruined everything, took away her happiness, took away—No, don't think about that. What he did was for the best, it was for her sake. She would recover, she would come to understand why he did what he did, she was just too young right now to understand.

What he did was the right thing.

For the remainder of the trip, Takahiro did his best to try and coax some conversation out of her to no avail. The most she gave in response as they rode in the bus was incoherent mutters. It made the ride feel so much longer, so much more tense.

But eventually the bus came to a stop and the two siblings, grabbing their bags, climbed off.

Takahiro slung his backpack over his shoulder and attempted to take Shiori's as well, but his sister jerked away from him and glared until he retracted his hand, holding the bag close to herself and refusing to let go.

The town was what he expected. Small, lots of homes, he could see an open market just down the street, and a thick forest to the side. There were lots of farmland outside of the town, all the crops were supposed to be freshly grown after all.

Pulling the faded map from his pocket, he unfolded it and took a minute to try and get his bearings, to know where to go to next. He was glad Shiori didn't wander off as he tried to decipher the old map, but he did watch her from the corner of his eye. She was focused on a dog that was walking across the street, probably a stray by the lack of a collar.

"That's a cute dog, isn't it? Try not to go pet it, though. Don't know if it's safe," he warned with a gentle smile.

Shiori lowered her gaze as the dog turned around a corner and vanished from sight, her grip on her bag was tight. "Kaede-chan and I were gonna get a dog," she said and that was it. There was that icy wall again, the bitterness in her voice, the underlining hate directed at him.

It was all Takahiro could do to pretend that it didn't bother him.

Changing the subject, he folded the map up and slipped it back in his pocket, "Sorry, I'm just a bit too dumb I guess, can't make heads or tails out of the map," he laughed as he shook his head. "We'll just walk and maybe someone can point us in the right way. With how small this town is, it shouldn't be too hard."

She didn't argue and followed beside him as he started walking. Honestly, how hard could it be to find a dorm in a tiny community like this? They'd probably find it within an hour or so.

The town felt peaceful compared to the city. The people were friendlier, they felt more genuine, though it was hard for him to outright trust them—his faith in adults was shattered and it was going to take a lot of work for him not to see them all as bad people—but the ones they passed seemed nice and an elderly lady even pointed them in the right direction for the Kagami dorm.

There were a good number of strays, too. Mostly cats, occasionally another dog or two. Not a lot of cars, most people were walking or biking. He figured that in a town like this, there wasn't much need for a car when you could get to where you wanted on foot easily enough.

But the town felt peaceful, safe, it felt like a good place. Certainly a good recuperative place like the therapist had said it'd be. Which reminded him, he was going to have to get a hold of their new therapist once the two were settled in, make arrangements for their sessions. If need be and the therapist could only take one of them, he could hold off on getting help himself, Shiori needed it more than him. He could endure his trauma, pretend the pain never happened if Shiori was getting the help she needed.

"Why's everyone wearing a mask?"

Takahiro glanced down when Shiori asked that, and looked back up at the people they passed. Honestly, he hadn't thought much on it, but there were quite a lot of people wearing those surgical masks.

"Allergies, probably, or maybe there's a bug going around," Takahiro answered with a small hum and then looked back down at his sister. "You better make sure you get plenty of rest and all your vitamins, I don't want you getting sick."

She made a face at him in response, sticking her tongue out and then looking away, hunching over in the way that usually meant she was done listening to him. Well, at least he got something of a conversation out of her, even if it was just answering a question.

But, he did feel concern rising when he saw all the masks and started noticing the coughing and sniffling. There must have been some kind of cold that's swept through the town. Maybe a flu? He did make sure that Shiori got her flu shot this year, right? He was pretty sure he had, maybe he'd call up a doctor just to double check.

Thankfully they eventually made their way to the dorm and he felt a bit of assurance drift through his systems as they stood before the simple three floor building. It wasn't anything big, clearly only meant to house a handful of students. He was glad that the two of them were going to be in the same building, his biggest concern hearing about dorms was that they'd be separated. Shiori would probably like that, but he didn't want to risk it.

He didn't want to leave her in a building full of people he didn't know without him there to be there for her if something happened, if something went wrong.

"We're here. Let's go in, the dorm head should be waiting for us," Takahiro said as he pushed the door open and held it for his sister to go through. Hopefully they weren't running late, he didn't have his phone out to check the time and the bus had taken a bit longer than it should have to arrive.

But, when they entered the dorm, he found the desk by the door empty. Was there usually someone there? Maybe it was just there for a formal appearance.

With Shiori standing at his side, Takahiro looked around the first floor, taking in the interior design. It was simple, a little spacious, clearly meant to be a space for everyone. The main part of the floor was a lounge, with a few couches and chairs, a coffee table and a TV on the wall. Past the lounge he could see a tiled floor with a long table, probably the dining room and kitchen. He spotted a stairwell off to the side that'd lead up to the other floors.

Strangely, though, there was no one else in the room but Takahiro and Shiori. He hadn't misread the email about the dorm head meeting them, had he? Or were they supposed to go right up to their dorms and meet them there? He wasn't quite sure.

Glancing down, he noticed that even Shiori seemed a bit uncertain, shifting about and staring nervously at the building. It probably felt strange for her be here, having been confined to small apartments and crowded homes for most of her life, this was probably the most spacious living space she'd ever been in, it was for him, too.

Takahiro was about to suggest to her that they find their own rooms and then try and meet up with their dorm head but a set of footsteps halted him before he could even speak. Two sets, actually. Takahiro looked up just in time to see two older girls coming down the stairs.

The shorter of the two had black hair like him and Shiori, but it was cut in one of those punk-styles, the kind where she had longer strands framing her face, but it was cut shorter in the back. She was dressed in a pair of ripped jeans and a shirt with some American band printed on it. Next to her was a young woman a good head taller than her, with long wavy brown hair and dressed in a way that felt too formal for an average high schooler, a kind of fashion that didn't fit with the rural setting of the town.

The two noticed the siblings quickly and their conversation ended.

"Ah, you two must be our new residents," Tall Girl said as she walked towards them, her heels clicking against the floor with each step, her voice polite, but like a business woman meeting a potential partner. "Takahiro and Shiori Shiokawa, correct?"

Shiori didn't say anything, not that he expected her too, eying the older girls warily. But Takahiro was more polite, he offered a weak smile. "That's us. And you are?"

"I'm the head of the dorm; Emi Hamamoto, a third year high schooler at Kagami," she introduced herself and then nodded to Rocker Girl, "and this is Ayaka Koyama, she's a first year at Kagami, high school as well."

Rocker Girl—Ayaka, wasn't quite as formal or reserved as Emi was and she held out a hand, smiling widely. "Nice to meet you, Taka-kun. You're a third year in middle school, right? Guess that makes me your senior," she grinned when Takahiro shook her hand, and then moved to crouch in front of Shiori. "Aaah, I heard we were getting an elementary student in the dorms, but you are so much cuter than I anticipated."

Shiori quickly took a few steps back away from Ayaka, looking away with a sour expression, not even bothering to say anything back at her.

"Sorry," Takahiro offered a tired smile, feeling a little embarrassed. Hopefully Shiori could warm up to them, hopefully they didn't take her attitude poorly. "She's… not good with people, but she's a good girl. She won't cause any problems."

But Ayaka didn't even seem insulted as she pushed herself back onto her feet, "Hey, no worries."

Clearing her throat, Emi nodded at them. "Well, let's get you two to your rooms, I'm sure you want to get everything settled before classes tomorrow. Your things arrived yesterday, they're in your rooms. You're free to decorate your living spaces as you please so long as you do not nail or otherwise damage the rooms." She gestured to the stairs in a silent way of telling them to start walking. "As of right now, the only residents in these dorms are us and one other boy since most students at the school live in town and don't need the dorms."

"I'm sure Nagisa-kun will be glad to have another boy around," Ayaka chirped as she started up the steps. "He's a third year just like Emi."

It was a comfort to know that he wasn't going to be the only boy in a dorm full of girls, and if there were only five students, that wasn't so bad. Less people to worry about. Takahiro had never been good with crowds, it was going to be his biggest obstacle once he started up classes again, and Shiori was even worse with them. At least their classes in this town were going to be smaller than a normal. Maybe they'd luck out and only have ten or so classmates.

"Which floors are we on?" Takahiro asked as they walked up the stairs. He had reached a hand out to Shiori, wanting her to not lose her balance on the steps, but she just ignored his gesture.

"Boys on the second floor, girls on the third," Emi answered as they reached the boys floor. There was a small table by the stairwell, a tiny little lounge spot on the floor, probably for group studying. There were eight rooms on the floor in total, four on each side and what looked like a shower and bathroom to the side. "Your room is right there at the end of the hall on the right, you're free to add a nameplate if you want, the door is unlocked and you'll find your key on the desk."

She didn't even give them a chance to look around before she was ushering them up the stairs again onto the third floor. Takahiro noticed the stairs kept going up even after the second floor, probably led to the roof.

"And the girl's floor. Shiori's room is the second one on the right."

Shiori didn't say anything as she stepped away from the stairs and stood off to the side. The floor was set up in the same way as the previous one, he suspected the rooms were the same.

"There's a communal laundry room on the first floor, as well as a communal kitchen," Emi continued, "You are both expected to clean up after yourselves and respect the living spaces. It's building-wide quite hours after ten until six in the morning. Everything in the kitchen is free to use with the exception of anything labeled to a specific student." She seemed to be going off of a mental checklist.

Ayaka butted in with that overly friendly smile of hers, arms behind her back. "And, if you guys ever want to hang out, just let us know. I'm always up for anything and I'd be more than happy to show you guys around town," she said with a nod, "I'm kind of new, too, moved here last year so I know how tough it can be being the new kid. At least you're transferring in before the term starts."

"Thanks," Takahiro managed, stepping back when the girl got a little too close for comfort.

Emi didn't say anything but turned back to the stairs. "Ayaka here will be happy to answer whatever questions either of you have, if you need me I'll be in the lounge. But, for now, I'll leave the two of you to unpack and adjust to your new living spaces."

With that she brushed past them on her way down the stairs like a professional ice queen.

Takahiro scratched the back of his neck as he watched her go. "Well, I guess we should get to unpacking," Shiori was already heading towards her room before he had even finished and he felt his heart clench at the coldness of it all. If Ayaka noticed anything wrong, she thankfully didn't say it.

This was their fresh start, he reminded himself as he followed his sister into her room. Now that they were here, they could finally heal, recover. They could be the happy family they were supposed to be. He just had to be patient. Things would get better. Had to get better.


	2. Chapter 2

It was only the first official day, Monday morning and Shiori already decided that she hated everything and everyone with a passion. If they were going to be moving to this town, why couldn’t they have done so earlier? Why wait until the day before school started to settle in? Shiori grumbled to herself as she pushed herself up on her bed, glaring at the rising sun peering in through the window.

It was still early in the morning, she’d never been a morning person, and it was Monday morning of all things. The least Stupid Takahiro could have done, if he was so intent on them moving out here, was have them move sooner.

She barely had any time to adjust to her new surroundings, and the tour that Ayaka had given them last night had been brief. Not that there was a whole lot in the town to see. And already she was being dragged off to a new school.

She hated it.

Just to be difficult, Shiori made sure to take her time getting dressed and ready, going as slow as she felt despite the numerous knocks and attempts to get her attention from Takahiro on the other side of her door. Maybe if she was slow enough, she could make them late to class. That’d be good. He’d have to take the walk of shame of entering the classroom late on his first day.

But so would she. It wasn’t necessary worth it if she had to deal with it too.

It was his fault she was here, anyway. She had been perfectly fine before, was perfectly happy. If he had left her alone, hadn’t been so obsessive, hadn’t been so… so… possessive… she wouldn’t have to be here. She would be at home. _Her_ home, with her _real_ family, not here with him. She could have still been with her happiness. Be where she felt she belonged.

She’d been happy, for the first time since she could remember, she had been happy with her life.

But then Takahiro had to ruin it all.

Shiori felt the bitterness rising up in her throat, engulfing her mouth with it’s awful flavor as her fingers trembled while trying to tie the laces of her shoes. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

Her breathing growing heavy, she forced herself to calm down before the dizzying sensation in her head made her crumble. She had to stay calm. She wasn’t broken, she wasn’t damaged or traumatized or anything else the therapists, the doctors, her ‘family’ suggested she was. She wasn’t brainwashed, she hadn’t been manipulated or was being groomed by an ‘unstable delinquent’ or any of the things that they tried to say. 

She was perfectly fine. She had been perfectly fine and healthy until they took her away from her castle.

“Shiori, if you don’t hurry up, you’re going to miss breakfast,” Takahiro called out from the other side of the door after a knock. “You don’t want to start the day off with an empty stomach, do you?”

Closing her eyes tightly, Shiori forced herself to remain calm, slowly counting as far as she could until she could feel the fire within her die down. One hundred… ninety-nine… ninety-eight

When she felt her body relax by the time she hit seventy-five, she quickly finished up in her room, grabbing her black and green hoodie and slipping it on. The clothing had been made for a teenager and not a child, after all it had belonged to Kaede, so it was especially large on her. But she didn’t care. It was the only thing she’d been able to keep from her castle.

Closing her eyes once again, she breathed deeply into the fabric. The scent wasn’t there anymore, any traces of Kaede’s presence in the clothing was gone, having been washed out over the year.  She felt her chest clench at the thought of it. But, no, it was still hers, so long as Shiori had it and wore it, she could at least pretend that Kaede was with her every second of the day. She would fight Takahiro tooth and nail if he tried to take it from her like he and everyone else had with anything else that could remind her of the young teen.

Grabbing her backpack, Shiori took a deep breath before pushing her door open with all her might, hoping in her heart that she might smack Takahiro in the face with it. But, he had reacted quickly enough to evade the hard wood to his nose.

But he was smiling and it was that big dumb smile with so much warmth and love that she hated seeing on him of all people. What gave him the right to look at her like that, to be so happy. She wanted to smack it off his face.

“Come on, I made us some toast and they have your favorite cereal down there,” he said, still smiling and even offering a hand out to her like she needed to hold his hand just to go down a few flights of stairs. She didn’t take his hand, but she did follow him down to the main floor.

She was only going with him because she was hungry.

As they ate in relative silence, she saw Ayaka over in the lounge, fiddling with an IPod or something as she munched on some breakfast bar. Honestly, Shiori wasn’t sure how to feel about the young teenager. In some ways she reminded her of Kaede—they both had a rebellious spirit about them—but Kaede had been cautious and careful where it mattered, she knew how to control a situation while Ayaka just seemed like an oblivious idiot.

She wanted to see Kaede again, there wasn’t a moment that went by that she didn’t want to see her again. But she couldn’t. Takahiro made sure of that.

No, she shouldn’t think of that, whenever she thought of that, she felt awful, she felt a vile substance filling her veins, her heart pumping a putrid poison throughout her. But it was hard not to, it was hard not to let her thoughts slip to Kaede, of the things they had done and what they could have had.

She missed her so much. Kaede was her family, not Takahiro, or all those other people they were sent off to, filthy and dirty adults who wanted as much to do with the siblings as Shiori wanted to do with them.

Her saving grace that morning was that Takahiro was, thankfully, not pressing her for a conversation as much as he sometimes did as they ate. He gave her more time of peace as he had opted to do the dishes when they had finished, scrubbing them clean while there was still some time to kill before they headed out. Ayaka made a few attempt to start up some chatter with Shiori, but was ignored.

As they were heading for the door after Takahiro had placed the dishes in the drying rack, her brother stopped her and handed her a small wrapped bento box. “For lunch,” he said, and Shiori had half the mind to just toss it in the trash right then and there. But, no, she needed to eat lunch and didn’t have any money on hand for the cafeteria. She’d stomach whatever junk her brother made.

Ayaka made some cutesy noise at that and the three of them headed out of the dorm building.

“What happened to Hamamoto-senpai?” he asked as Ayaka closed the door behind them, apparently she was going to walk them to school and give them a tour of the building or something. “I didn’t see her at all this morning, or the other student, either.”

“Ah, Emi-chan leaves for school really early on Mondays, and Nagisa-kun has morning training so he’s usually gone before the rest of us,” Ayaka explained as they started walking, swinging her arms at her side and humming like she didn’t have any care in the world. “I’m sure you might end up walking to or from school with one of them now and then, but with our schedules all being so different, its not too often we leave at the same time.”

“I, I see,” God that stammer of his was so dumb, Shiori wanted to roll her eyes as she trailed behind the older two. From off to the side she saw some adults coughing and sneezing behind their masks and she flinched away, not wanting to catch whatever virus was going around.

“I think you only have one class this year for your grade, Shiori-chan, probably pretty small, too, so you don’t have to worry about being around so many people,” Ayaka turned so she could face the girl as she talked.

Said girl promptly looked away, not even bothering to give her a response.

But the bubbly teen just laughed, “Ouch, man you could give Emi-chan a run for her money in the cold shoulder department,” she joked rubbing at her chest as though she had been given a wound to the heart.

From that point on, Shiori mostly just tuned out her brother and Ayaka. Following them in silence as she just watched their surroundings.

She’d give Takahiro this; he didn’t chose that bad of a town for them to be imprisoned in. She’d always been uncomfortable in the city, all the cars and people, it terrified her to some degree. The claustrophobic sensation, the thought that she’d get lost in a crowd and never find her way back, drowning in the sea of people, it made her too scared to even leave the apartment by herself.

Shizukana was different from the city. It was smaller, more spacious, more room to breathe. She could walk and not feel like she was lost, not feel the webbing of anxiety wrap around her, she didn’t feel confined

Did she want to go back to the city? Of course, that’s where her home was, that’s where the people that mattered to her were. But if she could, she wouldn’t be against the idea of convincing them to move out to this town.

So long as she was with them, so long as she could be with Kaede, she was fine no matter where she lived.

No, she was thinking of her again, those whimsical, wanting thoughts, happy memories given a bitter taste. She didn’t need this, not this awful feeling so early into the day.

Forcing herself to distract her mind from those thoughts, Shiori switched gears to absentmindedly listen to her brother and Ayaka talk and the chatter of people around them as they kept walking. A few other students passed them, walking alone or in groups, chatting about this and that. Most people were on  bikes or on foot, there were hardly any cars that drove past them.

They reached the gates of the school with a bit of time to spare before classes began.

Ayaka flashed the two siblings a dazzling smile as she adjusted her hold on her bag. “Well, here we are. Grade schoolers are on the first floor, middle schoolers are on the second floor, and you can find me and Emi-chan on the third floor with the other high schoolers,” she explained as she began listing off her fingers. “If you need to visit your teachers, the faculty office is located on the second floor, nurses office is on the first floor—Umemoto-sensei can be a little strange though so be warned. I’ll try and hit you guys up during break to see how you’re doing. Do you need help finding your classrooms?”

Eying the students warily, kids ranging from all sorts of ages wearing similar uniforms—save for the grade schoolers who didn’t have a uniform, Takahiro gave a shy nod. “No, I think we can manage from here. But, thank you.”

“Well, if you ever need help, I’m classroom 1-2, it’s the room right next to the stairs on the right, you can’t miss it,” Ayaka said with that smile of hers still in place. “Good luck on your first day you two!”

After she left, it was time for them to get to their own classes. Takahiro insisted on walking Shiori to her room, despite her refusals. Thankfully it wasn’t hard to find her own class of fourth year students in the grade school division.

When he left, she felt like she could breathe again.

Ayaka hadn’t been wrong when she suggested the class would be small. Even though there was still some time left before class started, there weren’t a whole lot of kids, probably a dozen or so. Most of them were talking avidly with each other, and she realized that it was because they all knew who each other was. They grew up with one another and had been friends since probably diapers. She was the only one who was new, the only unfamiliar face in this room.

It was hard to breathe again,

A few kids looked up at her with curious eyes as Shiori she tried to find a desk to sit at, and she was sure that there were a few whispering to each other about her.

Taking a deep breath and counting down from a hundred again, Shiori moved her way towards the back, finding an empty seat next to a boy who looked like he hadn’t slept in years and forgot how to comb his hair. The boy only gave him a lazy glance before resting his head against his arms again.

A few more students tricked in followed by a tall young woman with a stack of papers cradled in her arms and a warm smile on her face. The children quickly found themselves to their desks and it was clear that class was starting.

“Good morning everyone, I hope you all had a good break,” the woman greeted and the class returned her greeting in turn. “Some of you may recognize me, but for those of you who don’t; I’m Kikuko Shimura, I do hope we all get along well for the year.”

A lot of the students seemed happy to be having her for a teacher, not that Shiori could care. She did a brief little introduction and then turned it on to the class to introduce themselves and something they did over the break.

Considering most of the students probably knew each other since diapers, it was likely a formality more than anything. She started spacing out after the first few kids said their names, hand on her cheek and trying to at least look like she was interested as her classmates went on and on, slowly wrapping towards the back of the room.

She found out the boy next to her was Hitoshi Tanaka. He was pretty brief, just gave his name and sat back down. And when Shiori introduced herself, she did the same, not bothering to list anything she could tell the class, not that she had anything to say in the first place. It wasn’t like ‘I spent the break going to therapy sessions and being moved between relatives and foster homes’ was something she wanted a class to know.

At least the teacher didn’t seem to mind the lackluster introductions.

Classes went on, which the first hour or so was spent mostly with orientation and letting the class get to know each other and know what would be expected of them this year. When the chance arose for the other students, Shiori got swarmed by her classmates. All eager to meet the ‘new kid’, flooding her with questions about what the city was like and what her old schools were like until she felt her heart racing so hard it felt like it’d explode. She hated feeling surrounded like this, hated feeling jumped by others.

She didn’t want to tell them what her life was like before coming to this town, what her old school was like, or any other personal question they asked. She had no intention of being their friend, so why did they want to know so much about her?

Once lunch came, Shiori took the first chance she got and got out of the classroom with her lunch box in hand before her classmates could start pressing her for more information.

It was only going to be a temporary escape, she’d have to go back before break ended, and now that she was out in the hall, she had to be careful she didn’t run into Ayaka or even worse, Takahiro. No doubt Takahiro was going to be coming to get her to try and eat lunch with her, Ayaka too, probably. Maybe she could hide in the girls bathroom until break was over.

Nah, then she’d have to explain to the others why she was hiding and eating in the girls bathroom, and that wouldn’t prevent her from running into Ayaka or any other girls in their dorm building.

Grumbling, Shiori just shuffled down the hall, heading for the school doors.

It took a few minutes, but she was able to find a quiet corner outside at the side of the school building. There were a few bushes where she could hide behind if any of the two nuisances came out looking for her, but it was a peaceful spot. No kids of teenagers chatting and talking and bothering her.

Sitting down, Shiori let herself smile, feeling relaxed already as she pulled out the bento Takahiro had made her. As much as she wasn’t looking forward to eating something he made—he might take that as a sign that she might be finally liking him—she was hungry and food was food.

She unwrapped the cloth and opened the box. Octopus sausage, some baby tomatoes and celery, rice, a couple of hard boiled eggs—when did he have time to boil an egg?—and a single cookie. Well, it didn’t look bad, she’ll give him that. She wasn’t too surprised that he remembered that she liked eggs, though.

Taking out her chopsticks, Shiori got to eating, her mind wandering here and there. Thinking of the school _(boring),_ the town _(Not too awful),_ and the dorms _(don’t like)._ She wasn’t sure what to think of the people themselves, yet, but so far she wasn’t too fond of them. Maybe that could change, maybe she’ll end up hating them all the more.

So long as they left her alone and didn’t pry too much, Shiori could tolerate them.

She was eating in peace, munching on the eggs before moving to the rice. She could hear other kids chatting from the windows above, but no one seemed to notice her out here. However, she paused when she heard a bit of rustling from the some of the bushes farther ahead.

Was someone coming?

Shiori lowered her box of food and stared at the bush, glaring at it as though to silently usher whoever was out there with her glare.

Her expression eased up a bit when a dog stepped out. The dog was medium sized, pretty skinny and dirty looking so she assumed that it must have been a stray. There wasn’t any collar on it, either, which added to that theory.

His head was low, but he was staring at her. Shiori offered a smile, feeling herself relax. “Hey, buddy,” she whispered, trying not to scare the dog away. “You all alone? Here,” she took one of the octopus sausages and held it out in her hand. The dog took a wary step, but not any further. Figures. Letting out a soft laugh, she tossed the piece of meat towards him. This time the dog drew closer, ducking his head down to eat up the small piece of meat.

“Like it?” Shiori asked and took out another of the sausages. “Come on, you look like you need them more than me.” With each piece of meat, the dog drew slowly closer and closer to her. Not quite close enough for her to reach out and pet him, but, at least he was getting to eat something.

Eventually she had given him all of her octopus sausage, and when there was no more to give him, the dog looked at her with a tilted head and soft whine.

Shiori laughed, still smiling, “Sorry, buddy, I don’t know if you can eat rice or celery,” maybe she’d look that up when she got back to the dorm. It might be something nice to know if she got the chance to feed him again. Besides, she had to eat, too.

Surprisingly, the dog didn’t run. He didn’t draw any closer to Shiori, keeping a safe distance, but he didn’t outright run. Keeping his eyes on the girl as she finished her lunch, or maybe just eyeing the food itself. His company was nice, she would admit. She always did want a dog, and even if he was a stray, it was nice to be able to be with one for a short minute.

“You’re not to bad, now are you?” Shiori asked as the dog laid down in front of her, smiling as she ate some more of her rice. “Maybe you’re just like me.” Maybe she could find a kindred soul in this dog.

 

* * *

 

“Hey, you okay?”

Takahiro gave a light jump when Ayaka spoke up from behind him, turning away from his search among the grade schoolers to look at his dormmate. She was smiling as usual and leaning against the railings of the stairs.

“Oh, hi, Koyama-san,” Takahiro greeted, turning back to look at the first floor students, there really weren’t too many of them, which wasn’t surprising given the small population of the town. Still, try as he might, he couldn’t find the one he was looking for, his nervous fingers gripping his bento box tighter and tighter.

“Looking for Shiori-chan?”

Ayaka stretched her arms above her before descending the last of the steps to stand beside the boy, scanning the crowd much the same way and coming up empty.

Takahiro sighed, running a hand through his hair, “Is it that obvious?”

“I mean, kind of? What other reason would you have at staring at a bunch of little kids?”

He chuckled a little at that, a half-hearted laugh as he leaned against the stairs. “I don’t think she’s here,” he said out loud, shaking his head, hopefully she didn’t decide to go and skip already. She had made it a habit at their previous schools to just up and leave in the middle of the day. This was their first day at a new school, a fresh start for them both, he didn’t want her to already be giving herself a bad reputation.

“She might have just gone to eat lunch by herself, or maybe she made a friend in her class and is eating with them,” Ayaka threw an arm around his shoulder, tugging him into a lazy side hug, “You worry way too much, you know that?”

Of course he worried. “Someone has to,” Takahiro muttered, shrugging her arm off of him. She wasn’t down here, that much was obvious, so he started up the stairs back to the second floor for the middle schoolers. Hopefully Shiori was still in school, he could catch her on their way back to the dorms, make sure everything was okay, that she liked her new school well enough.

Ayaka was following behind him, a bounce in her steps. “Why do you say that?” she asked innocently.

Takahiro moved over to the side to make room for a couple of students coming down the stairs, not answering her question immediately, not until he had finished his ascent up the stairs did he voice an answer. “It’s just… she and I, we haven’t had the best of lives, she’s had it rough, we both have,” he didn’t want to talk about it. He barely knew Ayaka, and these were wounds that were still plenty fresh, many of them still open and bleeding, others infected and pulsing.

The girl blinked, tilting her head to the side, strands of black hair falling over her face, “Is that why she looks so angry?”

He let out a bitter laugh, God he just wanted to sink into the Earth and disappear right now, he felt like shit, an awful churning sensation in his stomach and eating away at him. “She hates me,” there was no use even trying to deny it. Ayaka would notice it soon enough, anyway. “She believes I took away her happiness, I took her away from the only happy life she knew, that’s why she’s angry.”

“Well,” Ayaka began and the look on her face said that she knew she was treading into dangerous territory, “did you?”

Takahiro didn’t answer. But the silence was worth more words than he could say.

Maybe she would have been better off with Kaede. Maybe he should never have gotten involved. He’d been selfish, he went and took her away because of his own selfish needs and desires, he took her away so he could be happy, not caring that she had been happier there. Sure, it wasn’t healthy, it wasn’t good for her to be there, but…

He wanted to be happy again, and he had thought what he was doing was in the best interest of them both. But now she hated him. She probably always will, now. Was it worth it at all when this was the result?

A hand fell on his shoulder and he glanced up. Ayaka wasn’t looking at him, she had a finger from her free hand scratching at her cheek, her other was on his shoulder and giving what he supposed was to be a comforting squeeze. “Look, Taka-kun, I know I don’t know what went on in your past, don’t know what’s going on between you and your sister, I doubt I could even understand it. But,” she offered him a smile, “I’m sure you and Shiori-chan can work past it. You’re siblings, after all.”

Takahiro smiled, but it was empty, tired. “Thanks,” he said, there was no energy or even sincerity behind it. “But, you’re right. There’s no way you could understand.”

He was being rude, and a part of him felt awful for being that way to someone who’d been nothing but nice, but he was just so tired. He didn’t want to go through this today. So, gathering himself back up, he started walking away and leaving Ayaka behind in the hall.  


End file.
